Thursday, March 8, 2012

Just stuff. Stupid stuff.

....We are on the cusp of Birthday Season with Bean in March, Gabber in April and Min in May. We don't have a Spring. We have a Birthday.  If you're a child in the T house, your birthday isn't just on 1 day. It's the entire month. You must mention it everyday, maybe 20 times a day, at any random moment. I'm in the bathroom, door shut. It would be awesome if you lay on the floor on the other side, pushing your little fingers under the door, telling me it is March 1st so you have 20 days until you get barbies, squinkies, floogies, zaps zaps or whatever dumped on your head. And absolutely NO WAY IN HELL are we going to have ONE centrally located party for all 3 girls- say, mid April. I mean, I would hate to not be able to coordinate 3 separate, complex parties with 3 different cakes and 3 different locations and 3 different dramatics. No, that would make me a super meanie mom.

....Bean: "I wanna be a dog."
Me:   "Why..."
Bean: "Because I don't want any more shots."
Me:   "Dogs get shots."
Bean: "Than I wanna be a cheetah." (than please run outside, cheetah child, where it's more like the wild)

....Gabbers is trying to enter my date of birth into a game on her iTouch. When she is trying to find the year: "oh man, this is taking a loooong time to go back so far!" (but look how gracefully beautifully so so I'm aging)

....Poop. Crap. Turds. Shit. Whatever it is, there seems to be a phase where they don't believe that if it's brown, flush it down. Did they forget they took a smelly dumpie? Does that also mean they forgot to wipe their poopy butts? Is this why they scratch that poopy butt and complain that it itches? (for god's sake, wash your hands before sticking them in the family sized bag of chips!). Do they leave turds floating around the bowl because they figure I like to check'em out, maybe see that it's shaped like the letter S? No. No, I really don't. So puh-lease flush'em when you poop'em. And that goes for your little friends, too.

...."you've got your dumped out kids, you better run better run out of my gun!"

....Gabbers asks Bean to get her Mario ds game so they can "verse" each other. "Let's verse each other!" I like it better than play each other. Awesome, Gab. She also comments about Bean traveling to my bedroom in the middle of the night. Hon, I'm just down the hall, not in Chicago.

....Oh Min Min. She sort of kind of oh my god has her first boyfriend. What do they do that makes them boyfriend (gah! not ready)/girlfriend? "Nothing. Just text." Good. As long that first "t" doesn't become an "s" I am so cool with this. When Min first told me about G (let's protect the innocent), she looked at me with her huge caramel eyes and asked, "Will you think differently about me now? I don't want you to." In my heart, you're still my sweet firstborn baby girl. Now, when you tell me you've kissed a boy....oh my heavy heart. And your dad's heavy shotgun.

....

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